I'm back! I know I've had several attempts of reviving my old blogging hobby but I never followed through because I always did it with one goal or topic in mind. It got too stressful and like many encounters in life, if it stresses me out, I avoid it completely. Not a great trait, but it keeps me safe and sane. I had a failed wordpress blog that I thought I'd turn into a lifestyle / fashion blog but I could never stick to one thing. One time, I posted about flowers in people's hair and the next, I'm reviewing the latest Naruto chapter. A definite mess (although, a perfect representation of who I am)
While doing my internship, I started keeping a journal again (writing to pass time). In my final year of degree, I was at a point where I felt like I was just plowing through life without recording or stopping to "smell the roses" as they say (not that I had much roses to stop by and smell throughout, to be honest. Degree years were tough, but let's save that for another post). In an effort to get a grip of myself, I decided to start writing again, recording my thoughts, minuscule and deep alike. No pressure. I needn't prove myself to anyone. I wrote freely, without judgment. I wrote of my heartaches and achievements, big or small and in that action I realize I've started to converse with myself again. It sounds cheesy but it really felt like meeting an old friend again.
I'm the kind of person who gets lost in their thoughts easily, they're jumbled up most of time, so it's helpful seeing them on paper. I reread my entry after I'm done with a fresh set of eyes and a fresh mind. It works!
My goal for this blog this time around? Let loose, and write whatever I feel like writing. No pressure. I want this place to be an outlet. Who cares if my sister and mom are my only viewers? I won't be doing this for anybody's approval and that takes the pressure off.
Why make it public in the first place? Who knows? It could just be pure narcissism. Maybe I do love a little attention? If anybody wants to follow, they're free to do so! If they're intrigued or even entertained- AWESOME.
I should probably update this blog with a better description of who I am and where I am in my life right now, but it'll take a while and it's getting too late into the night for me to dig through any emotional baggage.
Dreamer, dreamer. Please get going quietly.